National Answer Your Cat’s Question Day

The Real Cats

You are looking at a Real Cat with a lot of questions
(but about only one subject).

Today (January 22) is National Answer Your Cat’s Question Day, and since She of Little Talent has barred me, Miss Cuddlywumps, from asking any questions (sounds like someone’s afraid of the truth), I’ve invited Webster the Real Cat in to do the asking. So, Webster, old SoLT has agreed to answer five of your questions. Don’t hold back on the hard-hitting insight!

Webster, Question 1: How come there’s no food in my bowl?

 Old SoLT: Because you ate it earlier, remember? You’ll get more food this afternoon at your dinnertime.

Webster, Question 2: Can I have a bowl of treats to tide me over?

Old SoLT: No.

Webster, Question 3: Does it make you happy to see me starving?

Old SoLT: You’re not starving. You could probably live off water and your body fat for a week. The doctor said you should lose a little weight, remember?

Webster, Question 4: How can you be so mean?

Old SoLT: It’s not mean to look after your health. We’ve talked about the complications you could get from being overweight: joint problems, diabetes…. Trust me, I’m doing you a favor. I’m being a good pet parent. By the way, you know you’ve only got one question left, right?

Webster, Question 5: Why do you hate me?

Old SoLT: Oh, Boo, you know I love you. So, I guess we’re done here. That was pretty easy. I’m going to the office now. You coming?

Well, that was somewhat less insightful than I’d hoped it would be. Never send a hungry, food-obsessed cat to do a well-fed, ingenious cat's job.

Still, I think Webster touched on some important topics: his uncertain food supply, his anxious uncertainty over old SoLT’s true feelings for him… There are obviously some depths to be mined here. Just wait till next year!