You modern humans do not understand cats and have no idea how to properly treat us. Some of you ignore us, some of you persecute us, and some of you demean us by posting so-called “funny” photos and videos of us on the Internet.* I, Miss Cuddlywumps, am here to tell you that you could all take a lesson from the ancient Egyptians, who knew a thing or two about the true nature of cats.
What did the Egyptians know? They knew that cats could stalk and kill the mice and rats that ate the humans’ grain. They also knew that cats had the seemingly supernatural ability to kill venomous creatures such as scorpions and snakes. The Egyptians did not take these extraordinary abilities for granted. Rodents could destroy a food supply, and scorpions and snakes could be deadly. So to the Egyptians, cats embodied a divine power of protection.
If you learn only one thing from the ancient Egyptians, learn this one most important thing:
Cats are divine creatures. Bow to us.
[*She of Little Talent can often be found guffawing at so-called “funny” cats on the Internet. You see how I must suffer.]
[Old SoLT is in the corner muttering to remind me that information for this post came from the fascinating book Classical Cats by David Engels, pp. 23-4.]