Miss Cuddlywumps Investigates the Minds of Dogs
|Incredible but true: Dogs have brains.|
I, Miss Cuddlywumps, am stunned. Absolutely stunned. I could not be more stunned. Why? Because this morning She of Little Talent informed me of this latest scientific discovery:
Dogs have brains.
Hard to believe, I know. But wait.… Not only do dogs have brains, dogs also have a “voice area” in their brains just like humans do. Apparently this voice area helps dogs recognize voices and understand the emotion behind the voice. So a dog can tell, just by how you sound, whether you are happy, sad, or in distress. Incredible.
The scientists learned all this by convincing some dogs to lie still in an MRI machine and have their heads scanned. Some humans also agreed to lie still and have their heads scanned. This fact alone will tell you that dogs and humans are “on the same page,” so to speak, and are willing to do silly things just because someone gives them bacon.
Cats are not like this. If you told a cat to lie still and have her head scanned, she would vehemently refuse. Blood would be spilled (yours). We cats prefer to lie still on a comfy couch and do our own scanning, thank you very much. Do not even dream of trying to scan a cat, because we are far too busy to participate in your silly endeavors. Besides, even a very average cat has enough brain power to break your expensive scanning machine, and we do so hate to see you cry when your toys break.
You are curious now about whether cats have a “voice area” in their brains like dogs and humans do. I am telling you now this question is irrelevant because we do not need a voice area. We cats gather vital information by psychic intuition. We do not need to hear your voice to know whether you intend to feed us soon. We do not need to hear the dog bark to know the dog is rather stupid.
[She of Little Talent hastens to add: We love dogs. Dogs are great companions, and very smart.]
[Miss C hastens to add: Do not listen to old SoLT, for her brain is no better than a dog's. Poor old SoLT.]